Time Machine

Eat your heart out H.G. Wells, because I have my very own time machine. Admittedly, it is not as dependable as yours, and it doesn't have spinning wheels and fancy knobs, but it does fit in my pocket.

When I first bought it, I thought that it was just a fancy mp3 player, but yesterday, at my son's football game it transported me 14 years into the past. Those folks at Apple are so smart.

My interdecade experience began when I got my son to the game right on time which meant that I had an hour before his game would start. With a lot of time on my hands, I decided to find a comfortable place to sit. I strolled to the visitor's stands, climbed to the top row and found a seat against the top rail. With the sun bright and warm and the wind strong and gusty, I reached into my pocket and took out the Ipod. It was the first time I had listened to it in a long time, so it took me a while to decide what I wanted to listen to. After several minutes scrolling through what seemed like a countless number of songs, I decided to start from the beginning.

The first song I heard was "8 Miles" by Leo Kottke, followed by "A Horse With No Name," then "A Little More" by Jennifer Knapp. These were songs I hadn't listened to in a long time, not because I didn't like them, but rather because I have been using the few moments of music time I have had lately to listen to Lucinda Williams, Amos Lee and Ray Lamontagne.

As the list of "A" songs proceeded I found myself trying to guess what the next one would be. I never got it right, but I was also never disappointed. Then it happened. I guess that the sun and moon slid into some special alignment, or the temperature and humidity was just perfect, or maybe I was abducted by aliens. I really don't know, but at that exact moment two things happened. A very special song began playing and I was immediately transported back in time.

I was sitting in my brand new 1993 Ford Ranger pick up truck with my friend Jeff. Earlier that day he had asked me to get a coke with him so we could talk. My wife had just left me and I am sure that he was concerned, but I was still a little bit surprised that anyone would want to listen to a newly divorced man whine about their uncertainties with life, women, God and the stock market, so of course I agreed. That evening Jeff did a wonderful job listening to my rant. I am sure it must have been hard for him to listen as long as he did, but he did not complain.

Finally, when I as through. Jeff said, "Hey, I have some music that you have got to hear." With that he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cassette by a guy named John Gorka. I had never heard of him, but I was willing to give it a listen. If you haven't heard "Armed With a Broken Heart," you need to. Until you do the lyrics will have to suffice.

Take this as a warning

To stay away from me

Because the man that you used to know

Is not the man that you're going to see

Someday we may laugh at this

Someday we may be friends

But for now you can keep your distance

Stay away till the pieces mend

This sudden lonliness has made me dangerous

Please don't watch me while I fall apart

'Cause I'm sad and I'm angry And armed with a broken heart

And what will get me through the night

Is what I'll use with all my might

And to some peace I have a right But I pay so dearly

And at my age I should be wise

Now I'm untying all those ties

The evidence is in the eyes

That should see so clearly

I once saw so clearly

You know I will say anything

If it will keep you away

But I don't know what I would do

If you said you were gonna stay

Don't do me any favors

Don't try to ease the pain

Won't you please let me hate you now

So I won't fall for you again

I was mesmerized. Here was this baritone voice belting out lyrics that resonated with what I felt. I was dumbfouned. Then Jeff said, "I have another one." To which I said, "Great."

Now remember that this was the age of AMS cassette players, so it took Jeff awhile to find the song he wanted. When he did, this is what I heard.

Life is full of disappointment

Yes and I am full of life

Standing here without illusions

You know I almost had a wife

It could be the path I've chosen

Just leaves no room for someone else

Or the woman who could stand me

Is somewhere keeping to herself

I can't say that I blame her

I think that I could take that ride

When love is worse than being lonely

It leaves you twisted up inside

So on the outside you'll seem normal

But that only lasts a little while

Before you wear it in your bearing

It's in the way before you smile

You see couples who seem happy

And wonder how they got that way

Are they blind or kinda stupid

Or are they having a good day

Standing here without illusions

You know I almost had a wife

But life is full of disappointment

Yes and I am full of life

Life is full of disappointment

Yes and I am full of life

After this I took Jeff home. I found later that his wife Debbie was also concerned about me and was therefore curious about Jeff's visit with me. He told her that it went well and that we just talked and listened to music. Deb nervously asked Jeff, "What music?"

Jeff told her, "Land of the Bottom Line."

Deb said, "Jeff, how could you!?!"

When I came to my senses, I was watching my 10 year old son's team warm up, and I was listening to Jack Johnson's "Better Together."