Belief is scary. Belief is dangerous. Belief divides us and transforms us. Sure it sounds all nice and pretty, but it isn't. It seems like it would be a such a peaceful helpful thing, but I am sure that the internal combustion engine seemed all great at one time as well.
Let me tell you how all of this came up. I was listening to a an NPR program about John McCain's view on "aggressive interrogation techniques," and I had this thought. To be honest I have no clue what John McCain said because my mental taxi driver took me to a different street than I expected to go. When the meter quit ticking I found myself at another NPR program in my memory, but this program was about Hillary Clinton not John McCain. She was asked if there was any situation that she could foresee that would convince her to condone the use of torture. She said that there was absolutely no circumstance that could. The questioner then said another influential person stated that if he believed, no knew that a person in custody had information that could save an American city he would have to consider every means possible to get that information to save hundreds of thousands of lives. The questioner then told Hillary that the person he just quoted was her husband Bill. Hillary said, "Well, he isn't here, is he?"
Now don't go thinking I am some torture monger, but I must admit that if I found myself in that situation torture, truth serum, water boarding, and any other unspeakable act that might motivate a stubborn terrorist to talk would at least cross my mind. Of course, I would have to believe that the terrorist had information that would save lives.
And that is the problem isn't it. Belief. Belief changes what I will and will not consider. I mean if I believed that God had an intimate bond with the soul of the unborn fetus wouldn't I be more vocal about the termination of that life? Others who have believed such have gone to far greater lengths than that to protest abortion. I mean if I believed that a fiery burning hell awaited all who rejected Christ wouldn't I yell and cry and persuade? Wouldn't I be more interested in the lives of the people around me than squeezing a few more mpgs out of my old car?
What if I believed that this world was shortly going to be subject to a violent and catastrophic end, and that at the conclusion of that event a new and better world would begin? Would I get a scooter for my long trip to work to save gas and cut down my contribution to Global Warming? No, of course not, instead I would burn every carbon containing molecule I could find and yell bring on Global Warming! Let the End come so that a new earth, a better one can begin!
What if I believed that no matter how hard I worked I would never be successful. I encounter this one every day. Students who have failed and failed and failed again come to my classroom not ready to quit, but having already quit. I have found that until I deal with the faulty belief, nothing will help that student succeed.
What if I had a dying child and I believed that Jesus Christ had the answer to my child's desperate condition. What would I do? I would seek him out. I would beg him, plead with him, promise him anything he wanted, give him all that I had to gain his favor toward my child, and then... then he would ask me if I believe.
I am not saying that I want to destroy abortion clinics, or drive SUV's until we can sunbathe nude at Christmas. No, I am not saying any of that. I am saying that at this point in my life I am unsure about many of the beliefs that I have held since my acceptance of Christ's lordship of my life. I am unsure because if I really believed those things I would behave in a manner very much unlike how I currently behave. I am not saying that my current life is completely contrary to the will of God. Actually, what I am trying to say is that my efforts to follow God intimately are taking me to places that do not make sense to the beliefs that I have held for so long.
I am having to resort, reexamine, refocus my life based on what I am finding out was the real message of Christ; Make this place like heaven.
Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
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