15,000 Tons of Hola!

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Yucatan with several friends. I was not very excited about the trip...at first.

You see, I have always been partial to mountains. The variations of the scenery seduce me with the promise of new vista around every bend, over the next rise, or through the next clearing. The cool air makes me aware of my lungs. I feel alive.

But for this vacation we were going to white beaches. Beaches. You look to the right, beach. You look to the left, beach. I thought that I would prefer mountains.

When we arrived I took a quick look at the beach, and it was beautiful. It really was. I knew that it was just sand and water, but one of my favorite artists is Kandinsky. He is an absolute master of color, but in this instance God kicked his butt with nothing more than subtle variations of the color blue. The color was electric. It was as if through some tropical wizardry the water was casting its light on the sky instead of radiating the light of the sun.

A good distance off the beach there was a large vessel. I don't know how far because I am not any good at judging distances over the water. I thought that it may have been a half mile off the beach, maybe a mile.

Later, I found some kayaks that were for the hotel guests. Soon, Jeff, Rick and myself were about a mile off the shore heading out to investigate this ship. It was called the Cable Innovator. It didn't seem like a creative name to me, but who am I to judge? As we got closer, the water beneath my tiny boat was swelling up, then relaxing, causing my friends to temporarily disappear from my view.

I was just a little nervous. When I looked under the water I couldn't see anything but the endless blue of the sea. I was determined, however, to get a look at the water beyond the vessel. I began inching my banana colored kayak in front of the Cable Innovator. Some 50 feet above my head I saw one of its crew members peering down at me. He did not wave. Suddenly, I heard a blast of sound that seemed like it would capsize me. It was the Cable Innovator, honking at me. I didn't understand why it was honking since it was anchored, but I could take a hint, especially from a 15,000 ton vessel.

I turned my little boat around and headed toward the shore. Once I was with Rick and Jeff, The Cable Innovator turned on a siren. Then, a man's voice rang out over the loudspeaker. I felt like I was being verbally assaulted, but I can't be sure since I don't speak Spanish. I simply headed toward the shore with my friends.

Imagination is a funny thing. I began imagining how the as soon as I got back to shore, a group of camo clad Federales were going to pick me up and take me in for questioning. I was wondering if I would ever see Oklahoma or mountains again. I paddled persistently, resigned to whatever fate awaited me.

When I finally got to shore, I put up my life jacket, paddle and boat, and then I tried to blend into the scenery. I never did see any Federales. I guess I got away.